Totally useless PHP code written in beer

After a couple of hours sleep and a glass of water the code gets to be a bit more clear. At least it is useful in this state. Though I have not yet come upon when it is useful.

<?php

class Foo{
  private $_stock = null;
  private $_keg = null;
    function __construct($name,$arg4){
        $arg0 = ' is closed today';
                $arg1 = ' has ale';
                $arg2 = ' and pale ale';
                $arg3 = ' and light beer';
                switch ($name){
                case 'cheers':
                     $this->check_access(' is open today');
                     $this->$name($arg1,$arg2,$arg4);
                    break;
                case 'warsaw_tavern':
                     $this->check_access(' has no beer today');
                     $this->$name($arg1,$arg2,$arg3,$arg4);
                    break;
                default:
                    $this->$name($arg0);
                    break;
                }
    }
        function check_access(){
      $string = implode(func_get_args());
            $this->Bar($string); // This calls the Bar() method
    }
        function cheers(){
      $string = implode(func_get_args());
            $this->Bar($string); // This calls the Bar() method
    }
        function warsaw_tavern(){
      $string = implode(func_get_args());
            $this->Bar($string); // This calls the Bar() method
    }
    function Bar($string){
        echo "This Bar" . $string .'<br>';
    }
}
$funcname = "check_access";
$foo = new Foo($funcname, ' is open tomorrow');
$foo->$funcname(' has moved');
$foo->Bar(' is open');
$funcname = "cheers";
$foo = new Foo($funcname, ' tomorrow at cheers');
$funcname = "warsaw_tavern";
$foo = new Foo($funcname, ' tomorrow at WT\'s');

?>

the output

This Bar is closed today
This Bar has moved
This Bar is open
This Bar is open today
This Bar has ale and pale ale tomorrow at cheers
This Bar has no beer today
This Bar has ale and pale ale and light beer tomorrow at WT's

the output

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